Boy-Pussies Part Duh

And another happy holiday collective is behind us. Sure, we still have to do New Year's. But that was never really one of those big family get-togethers. At least not for my gang. There were the years (circa 1979-1983) when I'd hang out with a friend or family member. Then came a disjoined collective of Eves between 1987 and 1999 when I hung with the ex. And finally, an even more hodgy-podgy period from 2004 to the present when I couldn't predict from year to year just where I would be ending up. Familial shattering and splintering grows with each passing year. The disease spreads and fewer of us assemble each holiday season. Some say, I've just damn well had enough. Let that next generation tow the freakin' line. I say, throw this on the growing pile of things I expected to do in life but never did.

And where do I think 2013 will take me? Likely no further than it could throw me or, more accurately, no further than I could throw myself. But hey there will be news of 6.0...

Clash Of the Abnormally Large Boy-Pussies

Who knew circa 1977 that there would one day be ways such as these that are so non-confrontational to tell people to get bent? Merry Xmas, Charlie Brown. And congrats on your coming out. Did you and Linus like the toaster I picked out for you?

Oh By Gosh By Golly...

... it's time to buttfuck my friend, Holly. Throughout my whole life, I think I've only actually known one female called 'Holly.' And she was not my friend. But were there such a thing as friends with bennies (there is) and she had been game to go down said path (alas, I trust that she was not) who's to say what may have happened? Nevertheless, this time of year every time I hear Sinatra belt out those words, 'It's time for mistletoe and holly,' I have to believe that he banged more than one female called Holly. And maybe more than one at a time. Who can say?

I hope you are having a better holiday season (and life in general) than am I, Spacepants. I sorta suspect that you are doing just fine.

Where Bubba Is?

Life in 1992 was different. For me, for the nation, for the whole damn world! You didn't have to take off your shoes to get on a plane back then. And no one really knew that grunge was going to fade away, replaced by boy bands and colour-by-numbers techno-poetry. In 1992, Americans elected a better president than we'd seen in many years or have seen since. Also, for the first time, NBA stars were permitted to play in the Olympics.

I remember watching the so-called "Dream Team." Said term has since been cheapened to death with reference to subsequent Olympic basketball teams. The Barcelona team was truly special and could have easily defeated any US team that followed. Even the self-important 2012 team. As I said earlier, much is different about 1992 and 2012.

Critics have written that despite the 1992 team's invincibility, they were less a team than an All-Star squad. A collection of legends who overcame any incohesion with raw strength and talent. The 2012 team, despite their MUCH higher dickhead-to-talent ratio, was a tighter unit. They had seen quasi-NBA All-Star teams go to the Olympics and perform nowhere near as well as their 1992 predecessors. The 2012 team had seen fail and they knew that without a bona fide Jordan, Bird, Johnson, Ewing, etc., functioning as a unit was imperative.  

Remember, kids. When you're assembling a group and you don't have so vast a selection of individuals from whom to choose that a star like Clyde Drexler seems like an afterthought, it is essential to function as a team. Not an over-talented collection of individuals.

We're Putting the Band Back Together

C'mon, man! We're on a mission from God.

And I suspect that it would take a genuine mission from the Almighty to re-assemble the collection of rag tag part-timers who one year ago knew themselves as Pisans on the realm Exodar. Even before implosion occurred, a few of us splintered off into more "serious" raiding guilds. Then Biggus Dickus entered a state of nether-nothing. And the path toward the 'Out' door grew steeper and slicker. So here we are, weeks from Panda-Land's release. Yesterday I actually helped a rather insignificant toon from months past back into the guild. Not a major player, but it was something in the 'plus' category for a change.

So CAN our old team actually re-assemble? I would not but it in the same category as certain shattered rock bands re-connecting. Different factors: no money, much less ego. Can I be certain that those who left have found ecstasy where they eventually settled? By no means. But it has been a long time, game-wise, for this fissure to have settled and developed a solid foundation. I realise that little is absolutely impossible but I offer a reunion a 15% chance of ever actually starting to happen. Fearless Leader must return. I don't see that happening this year. But the BrooM may put us all in a nostalgic humour.

long hard road outa that there bright colour

My idea it was to assemble a comparative vision from the three members of our grand collective who spent recent weeks pursuing the questing mega known by most as "Loremaster." I prefer the alternative "Luremeister," but that is beside the point. As I indicated, when I got the idea to do this with my shaman, there were two others already deep into it: another shaman and a priest.

I started in Northrend, largely because I wished to tackle first what I suspected would be most challenging. Northrend's zones, for the most part, had the most required quests, as high as 140 per. Let me back up for a second. It is general belief that as the game advanced, quest clarity increased. That caused quest difficulty to decrease. That most heavily affected the new quests released in 2010. The two sets that were released in 2007 and 2008 are generally regarded as more difficult. And I agree with that.

As I set out, I scheduled my daily dose of quests to include some of the older, harder quests along with some of the newer, easier quests. What I learned along the way was that the Blizz design boys kicked some of the quirkier quest designs to the kerb. So what did I find awkward? What really pissed me off? More than anything else (and I mean WAY more than anything else) were quests where you had to resign your character's identity and abilities so that you could control some mechanical entity. This is a great example of the difference between the ball-jarring quests of Outlands/Northrend and the smoother flow of Cattleschism. I was given whipping boys for all of these xpacs, but the most recent was by far the least troublesome.

I could say the very same for PITA #2: finding enough quests to fulfill the damn achievements. In Outlands/Northrend, it was frequently necessary to poke your head inside a capital city or another area outside the zone in which you were currently questing in order to keep going. In the course of keeping quest lines going in Nagrand, I learned a lot about Shattrath. In Cattleschism, I never had to pause for a quest that involved getting on my engineer and pumping out a frame to go along with some skins and a unique product only available from a lone vendor in lower Shattrath.

Die Scheisse

Life has changed a lot since I left a cooler in Southern California. But Onyx has not.

the goob didn't live to see it...

Sad. The man who brought the word 'yo' into my life is dead. He said it before my high school Spanish teacher. And he certainly said it before rampant bands of mind-altered wiggas. Goober didn't get to see the turnaround I am currently making, but he did catch the opening steps. Rest in peace, my good man.

That IS What She Said

The perfect storm. It's sort of a sick, scary bit of weather. And that is what poisoned my in-game experience today. His name was Sätch, perhaps a Joe Satriani fan? No, methinks not. But he not only went four for four in the classic in-game fuck-ups, he may have introduced a fifth. He had no glyphs, no enchants, no gem, and no professions. While it was true that he was at 450 first aid, he did not even the beginnings of a primary profession. He had no exalted reputations. However, he did buy five pieces of armor made by blacksmiths and jewelcrafters. He likely scored his boots and wrists with gold. All of that ill gotten booty brought his iLvl up to 360 and his dps up to just over 10k with the Well Of Eternity 100% crit bonus.   

screaming muffy skunks

she said not to go down there!