nuclear iguana cathouse

should people look to strangers or to friends? and for what? and why? the answers to these questions and more on tonight's episode of "the crawl."

mom had her chance

she got the option to kill you for a few months whilst you were on the inside. isn't it just as logical that dad should get the same chance now that you're on the outside?

Asleep at the wheel

Ecstasy > Satiety > Compromise

Internal rumblings cannot mask self-doubt. It takes time for the mold to grow and completely cover reality at the center. How many licks does it take?

butthole ninja sugarbaker

noise blows goats. and not the attractive, mellow goats who resemble cameron diaz from the posterior. no sir. i refer to stanky, self-indulging rich-bitch goats. and that's more cameron from the front. with her mouth open.

el día del farty nickel

coulda been worse. like last year. or the year before that. but not the year before that.

rolling in the burbs. getting the fcp7 and the memory.

the stabby pain. the thoughts of the ex.

the bitch tits trifecta

in the land of cletus doobrow, there lived a little man who experienced trouble getting from here to there and back again. he wandered at the base of the mountain for forty years. then he turned red and made an original hat. from that point forward he rejected all clothing besides that hat.

fudge porpoise

on this day, in this hour, i dub thee teshlek. some people call you the spayed cowboy. and they are right.

thought what why

tuesday i am mush udder thin thine. ang i woody, wung what thing in? what i let the memo of prentice bright? thin not the daze. the daze eno. eno benny.

...but the greatest of these is 'geek'

tom morello may be many things and wear many shirts. none are more true to his being than 'geek' and this here shirt.